How to get rid of excess hair and the itches of the day: Start clean and out of your rug. Your carer likes you clean so they can put your rugs back on at night with minimal fuss. This is not to be tolerated. For maximum attention, get as dirty as you can. Therefore you should select a spot to roll that is already churned up and if you desire a new spot, dig one up with your front hooves. Your carer can later reseed the muddy places. Make as many as you can for choice.
Once down on the ground, grind it baby! Rub your hips and shoulders well into the soil, get as much over your back as you can,
making sure you rub mud and grass well into your mane. This is particularly hard for your carer to get out and will ensure she spends a lot of time with you. If you can get some clods into your forelock all the better.
As you get up, ensure you pause for a moment to let the moisture and grit sink well into the hair on your knees and fetlocks. To keep your skin healthy your carer will have to spend another 20 minutes just cleaning your legs later on. Don't worry that she has other horses to do and other animals to care for, you must make sure she spends as much time as possible with you.
Finish with a token shake. This feels good and can make a pretty dust cloud in dry weather, but is pretty useless for mud and won't really ruin all your hard work in disguising your true colour. Your carer will still have to spend ages brushing you off instead of doing any other chores that would take her away from you.